Moving and relocation jokes!

In the jokes offered bellow Intermove collected some of moving laughs that keep our moving and relocation business on the normal terms as we tell that jokes to each other and to the clients. Otherwise we will kill each other, because life is bearable when we have that jokes in our head when facing a big ass piano need to be moved.

Intermove hopes that you find jokes listed bellow amusing and, with that in mind, your upcoming move will be smooth, and you don,t need to feel the urge to buy an axe do deal with all of your items. We will do it for you, without the axe.

Always look on the funny side of life, and on the funny side of moving.

A man is walking in the woods when he finds a suitcase.

He opens the suitcase and inside are three foxes.
So he calles emergency services and says:

“I just found three foxes in a suitcase. What should I do?”

“Well,” the operator said, “Are they moving?”

“I don't know,” he said, “But that would explain the suitcase.”

s”

As soon as space travel is possible, I’m moving from the Milky Way to the Soymilky Way galaxy

I’m galactose intolerant

Murder on a moving elevator

…is wrong on so many levels

A cattle transporter was moving a bus full of baby cows. He tried to make them sit still but they kept rotating.

I guess the veals on the bus go round and round.

A guy is moving out of New York City, and begins cleaning out his home desk…

A guy is moving out of New York City, and begins cleaning out his home desk. He's a bit of a packrat, and after thirty years, he's accumulated a lot of papers. As he's going through the papers, he notices an old, yellowed receipt.

“Lustowitz Shoe Repair” it says at the top. He dimly remembers the store, only a few blocks away from his apartment but in a direction that he doesn't go anymore since he switched jobs. As he looks more closely at the receipt, he realizes that it's for a pair of shoes he dropped off twenty-five years ago, and completely forgot to pick up.

“There's no way they could still be in business after all this time, is there?” he thinks. He picks up the phone, dials the number, and is shocked when he hears a woman at the other end.

“Lustowitz shoe repair!” the voice says. Well the man is shocked, but he quickly collects himself. “Hello! Oh my, I can't believe you're still in business! Look, I'm calling about a very old shoe repair receipt, I can't imagine you still have my shoes, but could you look this up for me? It's receipt #46352.”

“Let me look,” the woman says. There's a long pause, and just as the man is about to give up hope, she comes back on the line.

“Painter?” she says.

“Yes,” he replies, “That's me!”

“HAROLD Painter?”

“Yes, that's my name, Harold Painter!”

“A pair of black size ten-and-a-half dress shoes?”

“Oh my, I cannot believe you still have my shoes! That's amazing! After all this time, you fixed my shoes and kept them for twenty-five years! Can I come over right now and pick them up?”

There's a pause on the other end of the line. “They'll be ready two weeks from Thursday.” <CLICK>

I kept trying to ride my bike but it wasn’t moving

It was two tired

My wife just emailed me asking if we had any moving boxes

I told her no… All of our boxes are still. That's why we purchased them from a stationary store.

Think Santa’s moving to Seattle this year

Been seeing a lot of rein deer

I'm moving in a few days and I asked my neighbor if he wanted my satellite

Told em it's on the house.

My Vietnamese roommate is moving to Vegas (giving me a place to crash in Vegas), and leaving behind a full bedroom set for free…

This is a real Nguyen-Nguyen situation for me.

Moving day!

One morning as Professor Thompson was leaving for the college his wife told her absent-minded husband, “Don't forget we are moving today. If you come to this house this afternoon it will be empty.”

Predictably he didn't remember until he found the house vacated that afternoon. He mumbled to himself, “And where was it we were moving to?”

He went out in front of the house and asked a little girl, “Did you see a moving van here today, little girl?”

“Yes,” she replied.

“Can you tell me which way it went?”

She looked up at him and said, “Yes, Daddy, I'll show you.”

If you want to know exactly where the property line is, just watch the neighbour cut the grass.

If you think no one cares that you’re alive, 
just miss a couple of house payments.

Einstein dies and goes to heaven.

First person he see he asks, “Excuse me? What’s your IQ”

The person replies, 280. Einstein says, great! We can talk about astrophysics!

2nd person he runs into he asks the same question, what’s your IQ? 
The person replies, 150. Great! says Einstein, we can talk about events of the day!

3rd person he sees he once again asks about their IQ. This time the person says 45!

Einstein says, Great! Where do you think the real estate market is headed??!!

Rachel Ginsberg called up a pet store and said,

“Could you please send me ten thousand cockroaches.”

“What in the world do you want with ten thousand cockroaches?” asked the clerk.

“Well,” replied Rachel, “I am moving out of my East Side apartment today and my lease says I have to leave the place in the same condition I found it.”

A general calls a colonel:

“Do you have a couple of smart majors?”

“Yes Sir, I do.”

“Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around.”

If a couple living together for two years in the state of Tennessee 

decide to relocate to the state of West Virginia, where they get married, have three children over a seven year period, and then decide to divorce, if after the man moves back to the state of Tennessee, can the couple thereafter still be referred to as brother and sister?

What four-legged animal can jump higher than a house?

Any, houses can’t jump.

Houses today,

don’t have enough wardrobe space. Sure they do. They’re just called guest bedrooms.

A man’s home is his castle.

That’s just how it seems when he pays taxes on it

I’m looking for the girl next door type.

I’m just going to keep moving house till I find her”

I quit my job working for Nike. 

Just couldn’t do it anymore.

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